Let her
swim, climb mountain peaks, pilot airplanes,
battle against the elements, take risks,
go out for adventure, and
she will not
feel before the world...timidity.
~Simone de Beauvoir
I believe in saying yes.
Yes to what you desire. Yes to who you truly are. Yes to how you want to live.
Saying yes is so much more than just being inspired and encouraged. Because saying yes is taking a risk and some of those risks are very real. We are caught in the realm of saying no because we dont' want to loose loved-ones by making big changes, or dropping unexpected confession bombs or pitting our desires against theirs. We are held back to avoid the sense of loss that comes with a lifestyle change. We are held back by our sense that we would be taking mental and physical health risks even if you can't articulate what those risks might be - you can feel them so you don't move. And I wont tell you to ignore those risks - to just let go, dive in, be free! This kind of unleashing and delving into the places your desires are inhibited or hidden is risky. Your instincts aren't lying to you. They just don't know the whole story. and their wise caution becomes a prison that you can't break the bars of with cotton candy threads of inspiration.
Rule breaking, boundary crossing, freedom fighting, wild woman...
I know that there are good reasons we shy away from saying yes, I have compassion for your reasons for holding back. I also have a complex, working understanding of the rules - what they are, how they work, when they're good to follow and when and how to break them - gleefully, shamelessly.
There are ways to approach your desires and the things you want to say yes to and the risks in doing so with wisdom, patience, information, and courage that let you go where you want to go without hurting yourself or anyone else (although sometimes it does mean approaching the necessary hurts with understanding and compassion and preparedness).
You can live a life in relationship with your desires.
the one's that fluctuate and the ones that command your subconscious right now (you know those times when you look around and wonder why you just did what you just did, bewildered by the fall-out and completely nervous about it happening again or what will come of it?).
Most people do everything they can to shut the desire or impulse down - which makes sense when the need for safety and your fear rise up - but when you do, you loose some vital energy, some essential bits of your true nature, you confine yourself to limits that have nothing to do with who you really are and everything to do with ideas you've assimilated about what is good and right and safe to be.
SEX
Talking about desire means talking about sex. The deep, dark moist pit of the fuck. With it's intimidating, messy contradictions and paradoxes between sacred and profane and it's alluring and alarming power. That mysterious, essential aspect of human life. Being skilled in technique can help you fulfill certain desires but on it's own wont necessarily let you in on the inner sanctum of your own sexuality - the energy behind it, the way it threads throughout your entire life.
A healthy sexuality is so important, and yet ellusive - there is no one way for it to look. And when we don't know how something *should* look we're quick to decide that how it *feels* must be wrong. Sexual energy is inextricably interwoven throughout every aspect of your life - if that's restricted, it's hard to find resources deep enough to fund the other things you want to be, do or have.
There is more to desire than sex...
If you’re unwilling to undress, don’t enter into the stream of Truth. ~Rumi
Art, love, relationships, success, an emotional sturdiness, peace, freedom - all these are tangled up in your relationship to your desire - what you want from life, from yourself and what you actually have to give and what you are honestly ready to receive.
But, in this context, exploring desire isn't just about fulfilling them. Where your desire is in you - that's where you are vulnerable - the most naked. Claiming your desires, giving them your voice, letting them move freely in your body and interact with the world is like undressing for the world to see. I'm not trying to dissuade you from doing it - or titillating you into doing it either, only pointing out that the exact reason we tend *not* to do it is the same reason we *need* to do it if we are seeking the truth of who we are and the freedom to express it.
Self-awareness and unleashing desire is not just an intellectual pursuit or a self-indulgent one. It's about being willing to be vulnerable and open to whatever comes. And that's work you shouldn't have to do alone. It's work that is play when you do with someone who can revel in it. It's work that unfolds more effectively when it is shared with others.
I'm engaged in this work of uncovering my desires, acknowledging my vulnerabilities and fears and finding ways to stay open and say yes without rushing or pushing for control. I am compelled to seek liberation, to spread it around me the way a dancer has to dance. If you are holding onto something you want to say yes to, or to something you are tired of saying no to maybe we could unleash together.
